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| Find out what never to say in a relationship. |
There's no doubt emotions can get the best of us at times, but knowing the limits is the key to staying within apology range. Most people will agree that money is the number 1 cause for divorce. Even so, it's still not as bad as another topic.
So what's the one topic that can rip any relationship apart? We're talking any relationship - family, friends, lovers, acquaintances, even co-workers. Is it religion? Politics? No, although those are pretty good fire-starters.
The number one topic is association. It may be hard to understand at first, but lets take a closer look at what we're getting at with some examples.
- Feeding The Fire - When someone mentions negative feelings towards a particular person they have more of an association with than you do, stay clear of adding your two cents. If your friend is talking about his or her mother and you jump in and say something, be clear that you have just damaged that persons trust in you. Understand that more than likely your friend is looking for validation for their feelings, not confirmation of how the other individual is wrong or at fault.
- Starting The Fire Yourself - Obviously this one is brainless, but people do go this route when emotions get involved. If you tell your significant other that you don't like their sister for example, that's fine. The moment you spill the 101 reasons why, now you've done it. "Assumptions are the termites of relationships.", Henry Winkler couldn't have said it better. Don't assume just because someone gives you the green light to voice your opinion, they will allow you to step all over the person they're more associated with than you.
- Not Putting Out The Fire That's In Front Of You - If someone you know is venting about someone they're more closer to and you don't give them insight from your perspective, they may think you're either - A.) Thinking it's funny. Or B.) Instigating the situation. The last thing you want is an emotional person to shift gears and focus on your true intentions. Try to cool them out, help them see the situation in a different light. Who knows, this person may be testing your loyalty. Your answers determine whether or not they will seek you again for these kinds of conversations.
So the next time your girlfriend brings up her mother, your boyfriend brings up his father, your friends bring up their siblings or anyone brings up a person they are more associated with than you in a negative way, just keep your mouth shut.