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Monday, June 23, 2014

7 THINGS WE HATED ABOUT MALEFICENT (OBVIOUS SPOILERS)

What is happening to Disney? 

Here's a serious question - Is Disney losing it's pixie dust? What are they doing to their classics? They are completely butchering the stories that built them. Even women across the country were slapped in the face when the Maleficent makeup collection was finally released with bland and boring colors. 


Now we have the actual movie out in theaters. So did it live up to it's hype? We don't think so. If the main character was not played by Angelina Jolie, would it still have drew so much attention? So why so many contradictions with the Sleeping Beauty tale? After all, it's the same person telling the story - Disney. We found quite a few things we didn't like about the new movie, but we narrowed it down to 7. 

7. Maleficent was a Sorceress, not a fairy. 

Yes indeed - Maleficent was not a dirty little barefoot fairy running around the woods, but a wicked sorceress who had her own castle.


6. Who knew fairies had bird wings and horns?

Caw, caw! Maleficent shows off her bird-brained attitude. Why isn't it explained? In Sleeping Beauty, they're dragon horns.

5. Prince Phillip was a loser.

A little sexist? Every male character in the movie was either insane, stupid or a big wimp. Prince Phillip never fought the dragon, and he couldn't even wake Aurora from her sleep. What a chump!

4. Maleficent was the hero, not the villain.

Confusing? No not at all, this all made perfect sense. 
Gooooo DISNEY!

3. Not once did we hear the famous line.

Ah yes, the good old days. Maleficent used to be so mean, what happened? 

2. The stupid wings.

Was all that ridiculous flying necessary? The way she was dancing and flying we felt we were watching another "Happy" video. The wings are alive? Are you kidding? 

Also what was up with Maleficent saying "I had wings once, they were taken from me and that's all I have to say about that." then immediately Aurora ask her "Were they big?" and Maleficent replies "So big they dragged behind me." DIDN'T SHE JUST SAY THAT'S ALL SHE HAD TO SAY ABOUT THAT? JEEZ LOUISE! 

1. Her crow was the dragon.

In what we feel was the biggest slap in the face, Maleficent's crow became the dragon. Uh what? We have a feeling we're dealing with an impostor here. Maybe this isn't the same Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, just someone with the same name.